{Sharing my heavy heart. . . }

Do you ever feel like you are off track?
Do you ever feel like a complete failure?
Do you feel like you have lost your focus?
Me?
Yep.
Not all the time.
Not everyday.
For the past 2 weeks?
Yep.
The Question I was asked. . . . (Our Associate Pastor, J.I. ~ Hows that for accountability?)
How is your quiet time?
My response.
Well, it stinks, and so does my attitude. (Yes, that is what I said)
Mmmmm.

So this morning.
I read.
I got in the Word.
I listened.
I am searching for my sweet spot.
My spot that helps me hang on.
The spot that reminds me of all that really matters.
The place I need to be.
The place I should stay.
Regardless of what others say about me.
Regardless of what others think of me.
I don't need it.
It doesn't matter.
God.
He Matters.
His thoughts. His feelings. His promise for me. . .
He loves me.
Unconditionally.
Even though I do fail him.
Everyday.
More than once.
Sometimes more than twice.
I am a sinner.
It really bugs me.
I mean to continue to get in the fog.
Day
after
Day.
Spending
my time (which is a gift from Him)
on
what?
Why?
What in the world for?
How in the world have I made a difference today?
By calling a friend at work to inquire about another friends thoughts. . .
Please, Tonia.
Time Waster.
Have I met my new neighbors?
No.
How long have they lived there?
3 weeks.
Have I been praying for my lost friend this week?
No.
Focus.
Stay focused.
Train.
Continue to train.
Stop the mindless chatter.
Be still.
Be quiet.
Let God be God.
I need to be who I need to be. . .
Time is ticking. . .

Stop the struggle with fear and complacency.
Surrender and be obedient ( i love that word).
Be radical.
Be different.
It is okay.
Sold out.
Yep.
Thats it. . .
Sold out.

Have mercy upon me, O God,

According to Your loving kindness;

According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,

Blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse

me from my sin.

Psalm 51:1-2

Thank you, Lord.

For another day.

To try.

To make a

difference.

For

You.

Moral discipline is a life path. . . .

{Thoughts}

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

{Buddy. . .}

you make my heart sing.

Love, Mom

{My Birthday Buddy}

Happy Birthday Buddy!

{I think I can. . .}

I think I can!

Buddy is doing good at Mrs. Bakers!
Actually it says, "Pretty Neat".

{Flannel gowns & Books}

Tonight I snuggled up with Lily, and we read about Noly Poly. . . too sweet. Nothing better than a clean & fresh, strawberry smellin', bubble bathed girl in a flannel gown to snuggle with.

Pure Bliss for me.

Talk Later.

Tonia

I hear Clayton in his room quietly singing himself to sleep . . . oh, be still my heart.

{A Great Day}

Mrs. Sherry! We actually connected without a computer! Face to Face! Amazing! SD is a wonderful example of how blogging can connect you. I didn't really know Sherry until we started "following" each other, and boom . . . instant friendship. Isn't that great? I think so.

We started our day with a unbelievable yard sale. . . which I didn't snap any of my finds, but I should've. I got Lily a really cute doll buggy. I will show you.

Then. . .drive through for Diet Coke. . .TJMaxx. . . Chick-fil-A. . .and, of course, Hobby Lobby.

Something about this pillow. . . I like it. . . but why couldn't it be a rabbit?

Fall stuff Galore!

I am in the market for some fabric for my sweet BB. {Blanket Box}

I think it will eventually be dropped off at Angela's for Carmen. . . I was just thinking I might attempt it myself.

I bought nothing.

Can you guess who was looking at scrap book paper. . .

Cute little monkeys!

Yep, Mrs. Sherry!

Mrs E.Bartlett, I hope you like these colors!

They are in your future.

So cute!

I think these frames are really nice.

I like this lamp. . . but I have no room for another lamp. I know what you are thinking, Mrs. Heather. . . That isn't possible. . . but I think it may be!

Did we have fun?

These little guys can answer that question!

Sherry, I really did have a great time.

I am so glad we planned, and conquered!

Thank you.

Let's get together again. . . before the kids graduate.

Talk Later.

Love, Tonia

{My little guy. . .}

was soooo excited about going to Mrs. Bakers Class.

We got ready.


And he. . .

Ran as fast as he could down the famous breezeway!

This way Mom!

Almost there!

My blurry picture of Buddy nestled in. . . playing with the same cash register that I believe I played with when I went to Mrs. Baker.

Talk Later.

Love, Tonia

{An unexpected phone call}

You know that feeling you get when you are at the Shop Around the Corner? You can smell the tape and crayons. You wish you were there at story hour with your kids? And then . . .the worst happens . . . she has to close.

The call I received last night was from , in my opinion, another timeless treasure.

Mrs. Baker.

Her class is simple.

Her class is small.

But it is still highly effective.

Do I have heartstrings?

Yes.

Same story you hear over and over.

I went there. My sister went there. Clayton went there. Lily went there. And today Buddy is going there . . .

She has a class of 4. With only one boy. So Buddy will make 5, and give her another little boy. I didn't plan this, but I was honored when she called. Just in case this will be her last year, like has been rumored for the last 100 years, I am glad all my kiddos will have had her.

Talk Later.

Love, Tonia

Pictures soon. . .

{Maybe,}

just maybe, I will survive. I got up feeling better this morning. You know the secret may be to get in bed before 10:00 pm? Do ya' think? I very rarely go to bed before then, but last night I was so exhausted I just kinda' collapsed.

Took Clayton, Took Lily, and then me and Buddy put on our walking shoes. We took a little walk and I enjoyed the beauty of morning time. Mornings do have alot of nice qualities. . . peaceful, dewy, fresh, nice temperature. . .

I received a call last night, but it is worthy of its own post. . . so that is next.

{Looking like a beauty queen}

The picture above is kinda' how I feel . . .ya know? Just kinda' getting by. Bare minimum. I am trying to get back into the swing of things. . . slowly but surely.

One thing I know for sure. . .I need some new sunglasses. Why? Because make-up isn't happening in the mornings, I can just put on the sunglasses, and it will hide reality. A big shout out to you moms that get up and get all "dolled up" . . .I salute you. I am rolling out of bed. Taking my kids to school. Going back home. To do housework. Who wants anything more?
Talk Later.
Love, Tonia

{Where have. . .}

I been. Thursday , Friday, and now it is Saturday. I have just been here and there. We are having our family pictures taken tonight and I am so excited. I have been trying to get outfits complete down the every last detail . . .funny though, because we are hardly dressing up its just I am not used to everyone having something that semi-flows. Have a good weekend!
Love, Tonia

{1st & 3rd}

We made it home! With all smiles and one untied shoe. . . .

Miss Lily didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Clayton was already in the shower.

Buddy at 7:20. . . .

Very bright SUN this morning. . . .but we are all ready. Lily = excited Clayton = ?

Off to North Main. . .
First we took Clayton, and I didn't walk him in. Only because I was concerned about Lily being late, so I hopped out while in line (other parents loving me, I'm sure) and helped direct him to the playground. As I looked back and seen him slowly walking down that long sidewalk, I regretted not walking with him. I teared up a little, and then proceeded to take the "Mr Hobbs Speech". . . he'll be fine. let him grow up. let him find his way. . . blah, blah. . . . soooo, it was a long day waiting to hear how he made it.

Off to Westwood. . . .

I do have more pictures because we did walk her in. She was very excited. I think she was really missing school.

Love from Buddy. . . a very sleepy Buddy.

We are thrilled to have Ms. L Barker.

After everyone was settled. . . I felt a little lost. . . .I did what any mom would do. . . I went to the barber shop.

Then we went to eat at Whole Hog Cafe. I highly recommend it! Food was excellent, and cost way less than a weeks worth of groceries.

It is kind-of hidden in Brooken Hill. Its tucked behind the Antique Mall next to the Fire Station.

Our last stop was Sharum's. Not alot to see this time of year.

I did spy this concrete pot. . . $229.00. . . Sharum is still the proud owner of that pot.

Aren't these cute?

They also have these neat little metal yard stakes.

I came home with these two "greens". I love hydrangea, and the other is some sort of variegated privet. I plan on planting them this weekend, the weather is supposed to be very nice.

As soon as I could I headed to the schools to pick-up. Traffic was really unbelievable. But we made it home in great spirits. We are very thankful for a wonderful first day of school.

My name is Lily. . .

Buddy missed them so much today.

It was like he hadn't seen them in a million years.

So, so

So, so

Sweet.

Carson. Lily. Clayton.

I love you.

Mom