{Sharing my heavy heart. . . }

Do you ever feel like you are off track?
Do you ever feel like a complete failure?
Do you feel like you have lost your focus?
Me?
Yep.
Not all the time.
Not everyday.
For the past 2 weeks?
Yep.
The Question I was asked. . . . (Our Associate Pastor, J.I. ~ Hows that for accountability?)
How is your quiet time?
My response.
Well, it stinks, and so does my attitude. (Yes, that is what I said)
Mmmmm.

So this morning.
I read.
I got in the Word.
I listened.
I am searching for my sweet spot.
My spot that helps me hang on.
The spot that reminds me of all that really matters.
The place I need to be.
The place I should stay.
Regardless of what others say about me.
Regardless of what others think of me.
I don't need it.
It doesn't matter.
God.
He Matters.
His thoughts. His feelings. His promise for me. . .
He loves me.
Unconditionally.
Even though I do fail him.
Everyday.
More than once.
Sometimes more than twice.
I am a sinner.
It really bugs me.
I mean to continue to get in the fog.
Day
after
Day.
Spending
my time (which is a gift from Him)
on
what?
Why?
What in the world for?
How in the world have I made a difference today?
By calling a friend at work to inquire about another friends thoughts. . .
Please, Tonia.
Time Waster.
Have I met my new neighbors?
No.
How long have they lived there?
3 weeks.
Have I been praying for my lost friend this week?
No.
Focus.
Stay focused.
Train.
Continue to train.
Stop the mindless chatter.
Be still.
Be quiet.
Let God be God.
I need to be who I need to be. . .
Time is ticking. . .

Stop the struggle with fear and complacency.
Surrender and be obedient ( i love that word).
Be radical.
Be different.
It is okay.
Sold out.
Yep.
Thats it. . .
Sold out.

Have mercy upon me, O God,

According to Your loving kindness;

According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,

Blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse

me from my sin.

Psalm 51:1-2

Thank you, Lord.

For another day.

To try.

To make a

difference.

For

You.

Moral discipline is a life path. . . .