Sunday, May 9, 2010

{Roots & Wings}

Having a mom as great as mine has left me with some pretty big shoes to fill. . .
My mom really hasn't had the easiest or most simple life. . . She married my dad (Roger), they owned a furniture refinishing shop and a used furniture store. Both of them had to work so hard, AND we were so poor!
My dad, God love him, he just had problems. . .
manic depressant, bi-polar, had several nervous breakdowns, a chain-smoker. . . it's not that he wasn't a good man, because he was, but I know it would've been alot easier to leave than stay. Mom was faithful, 18 years faithful, and then. . . he passed at 42 with a massive heart attack. I can't imagine the loneliness my mom must have felt. . .Broke, 3 kids, and no parents to love and support her because. .
Her mom died in a horrible car accident the day my oldest sister was born.
Her dad died really young of a heart attack also, after a trip to the dentist.
Mom was strong.
Mom was Godly. . . did I mention Mom took all three of us girls to church for years. . . without my dad. Knowing what I know now, not-one-day was it ever about my mom. It wasn't about her at all. Hair. Nails. Clothes. Cars. No. . .it was about us. Providing for us. Survival. We didn't ever have the latest or greatest, but we didn't know the difference. We always had what we needed.
I am trying to be 1/2 the mom she is.
I don't have all the answers,
and sometimes I really question myself.
I don't believe there is a single thing this world has to offer
that brings more joy and happiness than Motherhood.
My life is much different from my moms, and I am thankful in many ways. . .
but not all ways. . .
I wonder if my kids will have roots? The same kind-of roots? The kind where life isn't always perfect and rosy. . .but hard and complicated too. I want them to be prepared. Armed and Able to survive the unfortunate events they are sure to endure in this old sinful world.
Do I protect them to much?
Do I give to much?
Do I and Do I or Don't I or Should I???
God Please Help Me. . . .
My roots have given me courage & strength.
My roots have given me knowledge & boundaries.
My roots have given me work ethic, strong convictions, and morals.
My roots have taught me to trust & obey God.
Its My Mother Whom Paved the Way For Me Now.
I am the mother I am, because of the mother she was.
I have roots.
I have wings.
I am putting all my hope and faith in Christ that
my children will too.
Happy Mothers Day.
I love you Mom.


Stacy Carter said...

So sweet Tonia! You are an amazing mom!

Mom2Three said...

Oh,sweet Tonia, you are an amazing mother to your children, no question about it! I watch you with amazement sometimes, the patience, the love I see in your eyes for them! You are doing a wonderful job at motherhood...

And your mother, she is a little angel here on earth too...

BeckyAnnAmes said...

Thank you for sharing that Tonia! I can tell your mom is amazing & so are you!!!

Katie said...

I bet your mom loved reading this. I admire you as a mother, christian and friend.

meeksmiles33 said...

Wow! What a wonderful post.

You are an amazing mother and your mom is wonderful as well.

You do a terrific job with your children. You should be proud!!